As I am counting my blessings this Sunday evening I’m grateful for my children. While today was an amazing day in the Dodds’ household there was some coaching that had to be done in order to maintain my joy filled day.
I learned during my work with childhood trauma that having children may be the biggest trigger. At any given moment I could experience a trigger and if I am not careful I could become anxious or depressed and if you’ve read my book some other characters. I want to also say that not all triggers start off negative. It could be that one time you watched a movie on the couch and giggled at the same line in a movie. As you recall that scene you recall what happened before and after or even the same room or person that caused so much pain.
No one told me that I would one day be fearful of myself. Fearful that being a monster could be a gene I could carry. This fear keeps me from living every moment at its fullest. I am always calculating and walking on eggshells. I know that I am not what happened to me and I will never be what happens to them.
This work that I have done has allowed me to process every trigger in the moment, never letting it take root and grow into debilitating fear that may paralyze me. I have triggers I never knew and some you may laugh at. Like how in the world did you make that out of this? Processing memories is a skill. Attempting to allow good ones in and keep out the negatives requires hard work and dedications. And not necessarily keeping out the bad but instead recalling the negative and removing the feeling that it is happening now from it. Having supports is also essential. I couldn’t do any of this with out the people around me.
For example, I am a pro at breastfeeding now! (Tooting horn) but you would never know by the way I was in the beginning. The way we have sexualized breast I wanted nothing to do with that but I did want to give my babies the best nourishment. Again, much coaching and communication about any and all feelings that came with it. To some this comes naturally or people assume that there can only be physical complications but I dealt with mental.
PTSD is like a diagnosis with a prognosis that can be really good as long as you stick to a treatment plan. By doing this “today was a good day”.
I am here to help provide support and guidance with creating your treatment plan. Obviously your journey won’t look like mine, but one day life won’t be about fighting your trauma, one day you will live.
With love,
For the Culture,
Whitney
