More like a journal entry

Sometimes we have wounds that we have patched up the best we know how in order to survive. The issue is that you’re walking w a limp because it didn’t heal right or you have an infection that manifests in numerous ugly painful ways. This is alright in order to survive but when you want to live life fully and freely you must rip the bandage off and treat it sometimes with antiseptics that burn like hell, or in other cases rebreak the bone so it heals properly.

Some of us are living with some pain that we cannot heal ourselves, but are hesitant because opening the wound is the scariest thing you could imagine.

My pastor would say you have to be tired of being sick and tired.

It’s me, I am we and us. And tonight at 1:46 I am. Tired.

I’m tired of hiding. Of being loyal to a fault. Of not putting my needs at the forefront. Of being demonized. Of humans that are hateful.

While I cry, I am praying that God takes this pain from me but do not harden my heart because it isn’t my intention not to care or feel or love.

My therapist said I have some hard work to do.

While I am not the least bit excited I am ready. Because it is not healthy the way I am living. I am dying of an infection. And I’m ripping the bandage off.